Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
