You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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