So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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