am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
