yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
