come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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