You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
