Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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