so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
