how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
