Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
