I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
