Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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