And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
