I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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