he puts the penis in happiness.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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