That's when you crack a 10am beer
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
