That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
