I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
