god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
