her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please don't give away my fajitas
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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