How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
