Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
