I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
