508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
