No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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