Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
