Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
