Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
