I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
