Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize