yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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