The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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