I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
