my mouth tastes like poor choices
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
