we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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