I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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