direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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