Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
