the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
