i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
