i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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