I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
