Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
