Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
