Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
