in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We are two peas in an std pod
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
