I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
