yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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