Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
