Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
