Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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