I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
