she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
