I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
