ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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