just come out here and I will go home with you...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
