God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize