she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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