I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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