I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize